September 3rd, 2008 by Jeremy

Today, I made my “Change of Address” proposal to my manager, who seemed quite understanding of the entire situation. I brought up my thoughts concerning people in Wisconsin versus the people I know in Georgia and how those people ‘down-south’ really GET me. I brought up the idea that I want to be closer to my family so that I could visit them or become available if anything wrong should occur. Despite all the reasons to go, there are still many reasons for me to keep my job. First of all, because I can. Due to the computer-dependant nature of my job, with which the service and the product are purely digital, I can do my job from anywhere in the world, provided that I have internet access. I email the product to my customer, they tell me what they like and what they don’t like about the design and I repeat the process until they are satisfied. In my mind, this is a simple effort that takes nothing but patience and skill to do (except for the aforementioned internet access) and the idea that I can do it, even from my desired home in Georgia, is more than plausible.

Her reaction was that of a soft understanding- at least in my presence. She told me that I have to do what I have to do, but what she has to do is consider what is best for the company. For a conversation that happened at 8:30 this morning, I’m quite impressed about how things come to fruition in that regard. At 10:30, I have a cigarette with one of my co-workers- the only one who knew anything about my plan to move more than a month in advance- and told him that “it” happened today, but a decision has obviously not been reached. He told me that he knew already, that it happened; he had been reached via email from our HR Manager at a time no later than 10 or so minutes after the conversation my manager and I had in the conference room. While it is understandable that the company should look after its own interests, which I had more than realized upon this discovery, I was amazed at how quickly it happened. What’s funny is that it was “to be kept under wraps until [I] announced it to everyone”. Even funnier than that, I tactfully got my manager to lie to me at the end of the work day; her response to my queue being, “I haven’t told anyone”.

I suppose that my time there, now less than a month, will be interesting- to say the VERY LEAST. It is for this I am celebrating with my self, with a Guinness to my right as my copilot.

After I got out of work, a conversation with a friend of mine wrought, of course, the happenings of the day and was followed with an amazing discussion which was born of thoughts I had only last night about death, the comfort systems people have adopted and so on. Her thoughts about this subject were very interesting- so interesting, that I must make note of them and then sit down with myself with those thoughts in skeptical consideration. That will be in another entry once I have done so.

My delimma with death is that everyone seems to know what happens when you die, much like they know the origins of the universe and the coming about of Life. When one dies, depending on your particular belief, they go to heaven, hell, the center of the Earth, to Gaia, to the stars or get recycled into a new body or a ‘lifestream’. My criticism about such ideas comes from two different perspectives. One, we are born knowing that we are here temporarily and will continue to exist elswhere. The second is that we are afraid of becoming nothing, preserving not a single perception of self and existance as it is on any plane. A brief thought- when you die, it is quite possible that you disappear with your body. You aren’t even floating in blackness and seeing nothing; because in nothing, there is no memory or sense. In nothing, you literally cease to ‘be’, in every sense of the phrase. It is this idea that I believe COULD BE responsible for ‘religion’. People want to comfort themselves in knowing that there IS more. There IS a better life beyond the world in which they live currently. To this, my friend responded with much conviction.

She subscribes to something that is very similar to a belief system that is more popular that I had ever believed, reincarnation – to a degree. In keeping our sense of self and understanding of personality and the like, we are continuously brought back into the world until a “last time”, after which, you get to ‘know god’ (god was used loosely in her explanation). During these visits, we dedicate ourselves to evolution- becoming wiser and better souls which not only want to know as much as they can about themselves, but also about purpose; the ‘why’ behind our being here. Something interesting was brought up during this conversation which I feel must be noted here.

If there are so many who live their lives day to day, thinking only of work and television, why is it that we have the ability to feel the urge to do more? Where does that come from?

The question is hypothetical, because there is no answer from our vantage point.