I’ve had many relationships in which the word ‘love’ was used quite loosely, as more of a redundant affirmation to constantly reassure my past lovers. If I didn’t say “I love you’ enough, I must have been falling out of it or didn’t feel it at all. With so little confidence and foresight that my past lovers have exhibited, it really is quite a wonder to observe. Even while in the lie that most of these relationships were founded upon, I would see that neither party was really INSIDE love, but still wanting of it. When questions arise like, “Don’t you love me?”, I wonder why they feel that I would lie to them in that regard… except that love is not linear. Love knows no time or wrongdoing nor will it stop time or tempt wrongdoings. So many believe that, once in love, they will not falter in their footsteps and they will magically become the ideal lover. When they realize how undisciplined they are as they commit the same mistakes previous to this time in love, there was no love in the first place. It was something else. A feeling- not a state of fortitude that love supposedly provides as defined in the model of what we have always known as love.
The Buddhists have a philosophy that comes from the Dhammapada, which reads, “If you find no intelligent companion who will walk with you, who lives wisely and soberly, walk like a king who has renounced his kingdom or like an elephant in a forest.” It’s pretty self explanatory, but the imagery of the fallen king or the elephant is unique. Walk alone and with conviction. Remember what you are leaving behind as you press ahead. Live without wealth and riches and material distractions. Take with you what is treasured most: knowledge.

This applies in another way, which is why I brought it up in the first place. I’m sure that you’ve heard that one cannot love another when one doesn’t love themselves. To really love yourself is to protect yourself from things and people that might harm you in any way, especially your ‘core self’. This means that you should treat yourself as your own lover. Give to yourself what you would give to a lover. Act towards yourself as you would to one who holds your heart. say to yourself as you would to the person you hold most dear. remember that love is humble and requires no material things. remember that true love offers patience, forgiveness and understanding. To love yourself is to know and forgive yourself, then living critically- being wary of things that damage your heart. Your conscience grows. You become wise and empty, thirsting to know more. You see with new and shining eyes and once it has become a part of you- when you become Love, you will find patience, understanding and forgiveness when dealing with others. With love as your personal ally and philosophy, there is no way you will be able to perform wrongdoings towards he or she whom you will come to love wholeheartedly. No matter what happens, love will live on and flourish like a garden and provide its fruit to those who walk within. To be in love is to have two people who ARE LOVE.