November 9th, 2009 by Jeremy

Today’s adventure began with my study of the online film by Benjamin:Stewart, “Kymatica“. As I have been studying this video by listening to it multiple times over the last couple of months while I work, I have been introduced to many ideas which have been estranged to me and some that have been familiar with me over the course of my life.

During this particular study, I was reminded to research Karl Jung. He is one of the supposed psychologists to define what I have known for years as the Human Hive Consciousness. He is also credited for being the inspiration behind the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which fathered one of the most influential ‘personality tests’ referred to as the “Keirsey Test”.

My type, found in 2004, is ENFP.

As I was reading about Jung, I remembered the term “Jungian” being used to classify the system under which a person is defined beneath it. Naturally, this lead me to further research Keirsey. On the Wikipedia page, there are a few links to his classification system, so I followed the steps to my type.

On that page, I noted something interesting. Researchers of this system noted that a peculiar thing occurs when someone is under duress. A shadow personality emerges to exhibit “functions to which the individual is not naturally inclined“. Under this idea, I find that my alternate personality is INTJ.

My first reaction is to explore this other person which is supposedly waiting in the dark recesses of my mind for these ‘times of duress’. Off to INTJ.

As I read this, a chill ran up my spine. The monitor became a mirror and I was faced with the stark realization that I was reading about my current dispositions. A feeling of self betrayal pleaded to come forward, pounding with its fists at the wooden door behind me… but I read on. It made sense. Polarity. A new awakening with the acceptance of things. I now see the tree for both its branches and roots. Looking at an uprooted tree as a silhouette, one cannot discern one end from the other, aside from which end is pointed upward.

The truth that became evident to me is not that I was looking at a shadow self. The truth is that I witnessed the yin and yang, the balance, the masculine and feminine parts of myself. The matter and the force upon it. Not the good and evil, but the necessary halves of the whole.

While there is this balance, I now notice the conflict in the transition for this INTJ’s emergence. The ENFP thinks that it is dying, feeling smothered by the focused efforts of the INTJ. Understandably so, because the INTJ is not known for his ability to communicate his ideas in ways most others can understand. He is there to propel the Inspirer forward; but in order to do that, the Scientist has to take the driver’s seat.

I told Alex last night that a new man was emerging, yet I did not know that his influence had already started to become evident. It is true- he is the one born of necessity. When the shit hits the fan and action is called for, the INTJ steps forward and gets to work. I had seen him before- mostly taking action in relationships that weren’t working, but to this day, I hadn’t realized that the Scientist has been my closest friend during the shaping of my business and goals. The research that I put forth is evidence of his constant activity in my life. The forward motion, fueled by the research he has amassed, is solid proof that he is quite integrated into my life.

It is as scary as it is enlightening. I will just have to face myself and the current situations with the tools that I have been given. When I have achieved perfection, I will turn to inspire others once more.

August 4th, 2009 by Jeremy

I believe that I finally understand the phrase “Eyes Wide Shut”, though no effort was given to the cause of its understanding. It refers to a dream or a higher plane of thought found in one’s sleep. The mind is not a nocternal creature, though the spiritual parts of it are. Because of last night’s dream, I have found myself on a train of thought that has given definition to a worthy prospect which I feel must be pursued.

The dream itself had many pictures and storylines and bells and whistles. I was someone who remained at the docks with a group of people who hunted and ate of the sea. By and by, I heard one of my companions tell another about me in saying, “He’s a very inspirational person to be around. I’ve learned a lot from him.”

Dear reader, I am as prepared as you are to discover the ‘goodies’ of this train of thought which is soon to follow.

I began this post with my desire to tell of the dream, of which the details slip by me as sand in an hourglass. My hunger pulled me away from it, so I cooked, ate and washed the dishes. Throughout this chain of events, I linked the statement of this one character in my dream to a particular stone in the shallows of my well of thoughts: my deficient social life which has inhibited my ability to inspire others.

According to Keirsey’s Personality test, I am an ENFP, or an “Inspirer”. Once I am finished with this post, I will post the results of this test in the “tenets” section of my site. The understanding of this result is key to fully grasping what follows.

I came to think about the many things with which I involve myself and how they have come to influence others. Yet somehow, my seeming “wealth of talents” is best found invested in other people; at least this is what my current train of thought has me believing.

I then thought of a time which I felt for years was singularly the most potent period of my life. A time when I was surrounded by people I allowed to understand and be a part of me. I met them because of one’s salesmanship at Perimeter Mall… (I’ll tell this story in my Autobiography when I get to it.)

The Mall. What if I went to the mall again- to shop for people instead of browsing goods? Am I to arrive at the mall, go straight to the section of it which is infested with the service kiosks and allow myself to be pitched repeatedly (without actually spending money) by people who are doing their jobs? It worked before…

But I’m not a part of that circle anymore. It worked back then because I was the type of person one could find at the mall. But look at what they’ve all become. They aren’t your standard ‘goths’ (very easily classified as such when we all first met, including myself). Each of them have evolved, in varied degrees, into being that which they found themselves most interested (or involved). Derek, a set-builder for a hollywood-grade contractor. Eric, the owner of a tattoo shop. Joe, a graphic designer and future business owner. I suppose that diamonds really do come from the blackest coals.

Maybe a different mall. Phipps Plaza is a little more “me”- at least when it comes to the type of people with whom I wish to be associated, even in a client/designer relationship. I thought a while back to walk the halls of that particular site to ask its patrons what they think when they hear the words “Custom Jewelry”. While this would have certainly aided the growth of my company, I may have earned clients that way as well. You know, I’ll have to give that a shot anyways. Not only for the clients, but for the potential amassing of minds which are interested in that subject: friendships, focus groups and business partners.

It sounds like a plan. Of course, I have my thoughts that the sole attempt at creating friendships in this way is more or less a waste of time, the additional prospects may make this task worthwhile. As I am marketing myself as an individual, a designer and a representative of my own company, I don’t think I’d feel the sting of  ‘deficient productivity’ which I feel so much when engaged in other than ‘work-related’ tasks. If I make a few friends in the process, I’m not going to complain.

That sting, to which i referred only moments ago, I feel it so much. Business compadres and focus groups will come first. Unfortunately, I cannot justify ‘hanging out’ just yet. There are too many other things to be done.

As for this blog, it is a reflection of my higher self. I am not, in regards to the whole of my existance, simply a business owner. Here, I may focus my thoughts in a multitude of ways to achieve many ends; the most important being that of self growth. For those that cannot understand the necessity of this webpage in relation to the rest of my life which is dedicated to my business endeavors and other important areas of growth (love, family and that which pertains to the health of either of those things), I pray that you may see my complexity as an orchestra of humanitarian idealisms. Yea, the whole of me is, in fact, a product which must be sold so that others may find a personal benefit to its existence; for it is not the selling of it that determines the product’s success, it is the value percieved by those who observe and benefit from it.